2 Poems

Amanda Beckhusen

Hoodie Drenched

You walk, hoodie drenched, along a dimly lit evening street.

Eyes down, talk to yourself, it keeps them away.
Your devout lack of fucks propels you forward.

Step by step, your childhood’s further behind.
If they only knew what you’ve seen.
If they only knew what you’ve felt.
If they only knew what’s been done.
they wouldn’t think you to be such a sweet one.

Soles of your feet calloused with miles of hardships and struggles

Walls of your heart worn and battered, but strong and tough from the years of being the adult you shouldn’t have been.

The merit of your character’s devout and steadfast, proven, risen

“So smart” they say, “what a waste” they say, “how does one do it.” they say. “There’s an option to not?” you ask.

Loved, loathed and living…

You walk, hoodie drenched, along a dimly lit evening street.

A Conversation for Self 
The fog’s starting to clear
I see past a hazy shade of bull shit
Light fills the dusty corners of myself I’ve hidden from
Was I there all along, how’d I run from myself for so long?
It’s hard to face oneself, to be honest with yourself about all the wrongs you’ve done to yourself.
I spent so much time and energy avoiding myself and others, that I really did forget what it was like to love  and care
Yet, here I sit, doing the little things that remind me of how good to me I can be.
Megadeath says, “Hello me, meet the real me”.
I’m not sure I’ve been the real me in so long that I’d recognize myself … yet, hear I sit, writing this to me, right now.
Stand up for yourself, to yourself.
Live for yourself, with yourself.
Don’t be afraid of yourself.
Stop bullshitting yourself.
Care for yourself.
Befriend yourself.
Love yourself.
Be yourself.
2 Poems